Things Like This:

"I am grateful for my Elise this Thanksgiving and I can't wait to see her two weeks after next Thanksgiving, gosh I love her :)"

Tonight I am grateful for a sister who can fall asleep with the lights on while I read countless hours into the night from a journal that I received from Aaron. I am thankful for his sweet mother and for the fact that she can bear to share her son with me. Because "he also wanted you to have this.." sounded an awful lot like a flood in my ears. The way she framed the painting and handed me his journal that he sent home. The fact that no matter how much I coach myself, the tears always win and will continue to win because that's just how I was made I guess. How I felt like I was about to burst because I was holding five months worth of words from Aaron in my hands, all for me. I am thankful for his mother who keeps her composure and for his father who falls apart in the armchair. Then there's me in the middle, tear streaked and brimming with a heart full of love and missing and happiness and the reality that we are in love.

Life is awesome because of things like this:

Referring to things in fourths

     June 14th marked off a full six months since my wonderful Elder Aaron Poll left his hometown and completely dedicated his life to the Lord. Needless to say, I am brimming with excitement. One fourth of the way finished and this is the way I feel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ3xTjvj9tw

     I'll wear my light pink dress if you wear that black v-neck I have always liked. We can both be barefoot as we shimmy our bodies across the cool tile flooring of your parents house to this song. I'll tell you it reminds me of honey and you'll say something hilariously cheesy like: "Well you're my honey, honey." And I'll have no choice but to kiss you as grab me by the waist and together we'll over-exaggerate every dance move. I've always thought that you were the best thing that has ever happened to me and it still rings true to this day.

These wonderful envelopes made from old maps came today! And now I finally get to send one out to my sweet Elder Aaron Poll.

Mother's Day is for lovers too...

Check if you like me, check if you don't. Check if you'll date me, check if you won't. 

It seems like it has taken me a week to try and gather my thoughts on the subject of Mother's Day and more specifically, being able to talk to my sweet sweet missionary: Elder Aaron Poll. And let me tell you that the words have been building in my chests like giants; heavy and immense.

I picked up the call of a twelve digit number and heard the most genuine and recognizable "Hi Elise" I have ever come in contact with. And from that moment on, I was flooded with every single moment he and I had ever shared together. Every tunnel we had driven through, every screen door and front porch memory, every shared straw and exploding heartbeat. My gosh he was beautiful. 

There were so many things that could have been said but how do you knit five months of distance and longing into one phone conversation? We hung onto every word, breath and stutter like there was no tomorrow. But mostly, we fell in love. Fell in love with the feeling of confidence established when you know that your someone is on the other end of the line. Finding a renewed confidence and assurance that he is the one; already is, always has been and still has time to be. 

For those of you who wonder

I recently got asked this question on my tumblr...

Anonymous asked: What keeps you going during these 2 years of separation?

▼

No one has ever asked me that but I’m actually glad that you did. Maybe if you would have met him, you would be able to more fully understand how things are playing out over these next two years. To start off, he’s unbelievable. He’s better than anything I could have ever imagined or even hoped for. I wish that I could begin to explain my all-encompassing love for him in a way that someone else would understand; but it’s impossible to say a thing exactly the way it is. Thinking about how our love has grown and continues to grow reminds me that all of this is worthwhile. The distance is worth it. He is worth it. I look forward to the day when we will be reunited in all of our glory: colliding and collapsing into one another with the fervor that comes after a long wait. And as the days pass, I only want him more and more earnestly and I know that this feeling isn’t one of fleeting. Because you can’t forget what it felt like to shake the hand of the boy, whom you’ve fallen hopelessly in love with, in that moment between leaving and left. And you sure can’t forget how just 14 months earlier you were kissing him for the first time; never expecting that he would be the person you now want to spend the rest of forever with.

(Source: hipsterssssss, viakatiebear4ever)

Posted 3 hours ago at 16:16:10 with 3,641 notes

For Aaron :)

Someone else's words

This is something written by the wonderful Ashli. I take no credit; this is all her. She's awesome.

"I waited patiently, and at first fought sloppily and unsure of myself. Then I got the first letter, and I remember laughing and crying, how you sounded so good. I remember saying quietly in my car “How did I ever get this lucky?”. Got the first phone call and sprawled out on the porch swing just listening to you. Got the second phone call and we swapped jokes and stories about the moments we collected while thousands of miles apart - how in those few hours we were braiding back what rightfully belonged together. And then I was somewhere in Orlando when I found out we were moving to Tennessee. How I made Warren dance with me in a parking lot because it was the first time I let my happiness and my hope be heard, how in the moment it was ear splitting with all of its fervor. That conquering greatness of everything we worked for. How after that I learned how to hit into things harder, not let the nights pin my arms behind my back anymore. And then the eighth week came and I drove up the east coast - how I couldn’t sleep at night in those hotels up north in the fever of dreams and nightmares. Wondering what you’d look like with your short hair, in what ways you would have changed. (And, oh God, how you have changed, in small ways that are both beautiful and fitting, how I look back on the love we had before now and realize it never had this kind of punch, this kind of power.) How there were mornings in Virginia so blue and right that I just cried in the backseat while my dad scanned for songs on the radio. And those houses up in the hills with the hazy glow of light crawling from within them. How sometimes as we passed I was sure I could be them. How the rain sliding down the windows shook me in ways that I remember telling myself “Write about this later when you find the words.” I hope that I have found them. And when I finally saw you that Friday I remember feeling shell shocked. How much older you looked. How my hands shook because the love I have for you can be heard creaking through my every floor board."

Put a ring on it!

     As Aaron and I fell in love we began saying the phrase: I'll love you to the moon. It was something cute and wonderful and something that was consistently repeated. On the drive over to the church before he got set apart, we both looked out the window at the moon. He squeezed my hand and repeated our lovely phrase and added that it would mean a whole lot more to me very soon. Little did I know, he had ordered me a ring for in time for Christmas since he was leaving December 14th. It had both of our birthstones and was engraved with: I'll Love You To The Moon. It was sent to my house and he had told my sister to video tape me when I opened up the package. I was so overwhelmed with love and surprise; it was the most wonderful gift I could have ever dreamed of.

Last night together.

This is a video that Aaron and I made right before he got set apart to be a missionary. Boy oh boy do I love him.

Benin, Cotonou.

     Aaron received his mission call on November 4th 2011. Earlier that day he came home from a trip to DC and I was there to pick him up from the airport. We embraced with the intensity that comes after a long wait and I couldn't hold back my happy giggling tears. When we got back to his house, his dad told him that there was something on his bed for him. Aaron looked at me with a kind of hopeful curiosity and because I had no idea what that look meant, I quickly followed behind him.
     There in the middle of his bed, lay the much awaited for large white envelope. He picked it up and gently turned it over in his hands; there was no mistaking that this was what we had been waiting for. This was his mission call. I covered my mouth as tears filled my eyes. I was totally and completely awe-struck. We talked about our astonishment that the letter was actually here. He hugged his parents and I as we all laughed about the possibilities of foreign countries or even being stateside. His dad kept asking him to open it but Aaron persisted that he did not feel fully ready because he did not even know that the letter was coming. He wanted to make sure that he was in the right mindset before he opened his call.
     His parents left and then it was just Aaron, the letter and I in his room. We sat face-to-face with one another as the envelope separated the ground between us. Not much was said but tearful glances were exchanged along with whispers of predictions. We decided to go the grocery store with his parents because he couldn't bear to not open his letter yet but he wanted to make sure he was spiritually prepared.
     Upon returning home, Aaron told us to leave him alone for awhile. He went into his room and shut the door as he so fervently prayed to have the spirit with him and to receive a confirmation that this was truly where the Lord needed him to go.
     He then came into the living room with a choking voice as he told us that he would now open the envelope. The living room consisted of Aaron, his parents, his sister and I. He slid his finger under the seal and pulled out the sheet of paper. He read it aloud and started to laugh with joy and astonishment when he came to the words: Benin, Cotonou West Africa Mission. This was the same mission that his very best childhood friend had been called to just a year earlier. He read of his departure date: December 14th 2011. And the language he would be speaking: French.  The spirit abounded so strongly in that room as we wiped away salt-tears and hugged. He was beaming and I will never forget the simple look of gladness that he wore.
     I called my mom and told her about his call. Up until this point, I had done a fairly decent job of not breaking down. My mom was on the phone telling me, "Hey it's okay, you're okay. Don't cry Elise don't cry." I tried my best to make it to his front door without totally losing it. Once outside, I lost it. I hung up the phone and sobs filled my chest and I couldn't blink away the tears fast enough. Not only was I crying because I was going to miss him, but I was crying because I knew that everything was about to change. I was crying because the distance between leaving and left was becoming more real. I prayed in my heart for comfort and peace.
     Then one of the greatest things happened. Aaron walked out of his front door and quickly took me in his arms. Our bodies melted into one another and I could not have asked for anything more perfect. I cried. He cried. He looked at me and said: "I want you to know, right now, that I love you. And I will always love you." We held each other and mixed feelings smoldered in our bones. Sadness and relief. Comfort and hope. Joy of things to come and the fear of forgetting. I was proud of him. I tried my best to formulate a sentence that would express my endless love for him, how excited and happy that I was for him. How completely proud I was of him for committing himself to serve the Lord wholeheartedly for the next two years. He was happy. Actually he was more than happy, he was excited and about to burst at the seams. This is what he had been waiting for. I was happy. And the spirit was made manifest to us that one fine day on the 4th of November.

Learning to be infinite

     Because Aaron and I lived relatively close, we spent as much time together as we could! My parents were hesitant about this at first but they slowly eased into it; we were crazy for each other. We could not get enough of each other. We were roof-top children and he taught me how stay up forever. I cut his hair when it got too long and he told me he loved when I wore red shoes. He had callouses on his palms and sun spots on his shoulders that made themselves more prominent in the summer. We drank soda and rode bikes and wrote each other love notes.
     Certain months brought challenges and we learned what it was like to fall in love with your best friend. The summer brought me to France and the distance was devastating. The very first "I love you"s were exchanged shortly after the long-anticipated arrival and we became inseparable from that day forward. He is my everything, my best friend and the love of my life.

Here he is being so stinkin adorable:

We went to the temple together to see the Christmas lights:

We spent birthdays together:

And the summer taught us to be infinitely in love:

Sunshine for my baby

     Monday Monday Monday why do you only come once a week? I am convinced that there is no such thing as getting too many emails or too many letters.    
     Oh, the other day someone posted a cute idea of making a box of sunshine to send to your missionary and I thought it was just the cutest thing so I definitely decided to make one! I cannot wait to send this tomorrow, too bad it'll take 5 weeks to get to him. But hey, in less than 5 weeks I will be skyping with my handsome Elder Poll :) :)

Couple Story

     Shwell, Aaron and I got set up by a few friends. My friend Paige met one of his friends named Robert and soon enough, Robert and Paige were dating and planning on attending my school's homecoming. One night Robert, Paige and Robert's friend Aaron were all hanging out and Aaron mentioned that he wanted to go to our school's homecoming also! He told Paige to find him a cute Mormon girl that would take him to the dance. So the next day at school, Paige ranted on and on about this cute Mormon guy named Aaron and she gave me his number. Aaron and I started texting back and forth for about a week and then one night he randomly called me and asked if I wanted to meet up with him. I was so nervous but we agreed to meet in the parking lot in front of the mall because we lived a bit far from each other and that was the only spot that was somewhat in the middle. He parked right next to me and as soon as I got out of my car he gave me a big hug and I was so giddy! I told him that I was nervous and excited to meet him and we just walked around and talked and talked and talked. He let me attempt to drive his stick-shift car and we drove to the top of the parking garage and sat over the edge. The conversation came super easily and I knew without a doubt that I was beginning to fall for him.
     The next night we hung out at one of our friend's houses and laughed and joked around and then watched a movie while we shared the same couch :) He put his arm around me and it was obvious that we were hitting it off really well!
     Over the next few weeks we hung out more and more in groups and also alone. His tall skinny build and messy hair had got a hold on me; I thought he was such a hottie! He would come and see me after work and we'd sit in his car and talk while Blink182 hummed through his speakers. We held hands for the first time on a Sunday night as we walked around his neighborhood park. One night he drove over and left a sunflower on my doorstep with a note that read: It's no secret...I LIKE YOU!
     We both made each other so happy and I think that we both fell in love with the fact that we had a ton of fun when we were together! We did cute things for each other and wrote each other letters. I was totally and completely captivated by him and I had an urge to see him every day! One night after spending time with my family, we were saying goodbye on my doorstep and lingered for a bit longer after our hug. I knew it was coming and boy oh boy was I excited! Our first kiss (swoon!)
On October 22nd  2010 we went to the state fair and as we rode the gondola over the whole park, he asked me if I would be his girlfriend!! I kissed him while repeating, "yes yes yes!" haha thinking about that night still gives me butterflies.

We do cute things like this:

And this: 

Allow me to re-introduce myself...

My name is Elise and I'm 18 years old living in good ol' Arizona. I have the most wonderful boy named Aaron who is currently serving a mission in Benin, West Africa! He left on December 14th of 2011 and, let's be honest, I'm counting down the days until December 14th of 2013. He was in the MTC for 2 months learning how to speak French and now he's sharing the gospel in Cadjehoun, Benin. He is my everything and like the title of this blog, I am patiently waiting for his return home. I will be sure to explain our whole story in a later post but for now....

Here is our very first picture together. Gosh he's a cutie.